The Dark Times

The Dark Times

The dark times. How can one explain the feelings of futility and nihilistic pain? How can one live successfully with great patches of darkness obliterating the inner landscape? What great thing can we do to compensate? Better yet, how can we live the next minut... the next second? How can we survive the blackness of night where our enemies lurk; where they lie in wait to destroy... the very faith that supplies our strength? From where did this darkness come? Was not the Light so warm and so comforting? Were not the intimacies shared so pungently sweet? Didn’t we walk with the Light in the coolness of the evening and relax in the sanctuary of His presence? Where did it go? Is it possible to have dreamed such a thing? Where did I go? What obscures my pathway back? What presence lurks beyond the shadows to disassociate me from my Peace? Is it even useful for me to pursue this knowledge? Were there not promises made?! Were there not covenants cut?! Are not You, Oh Lord, trustworthy to keep me from this pain and confusion?! I cry out to You, Oh Lord! Fly to my swift defense and put to flight my enemies. Lord, they are stronger than I. Then I remember a faint hope within me. It is stirring...I faintly recall. I read once in a book, no... not a book... His Book: “He made darkness His secret place.” Could it be that I am hidden away with Him in the darkness so that I would cry to Him? Could it be that the Lord, Himself has hidden me even from my own strength so that I would not be destroyed?

“He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. Smoke went up from His nostrils, And devouring fire from His mouth; Coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down With darkness under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters And thick clouds of the skies. From the brightness before Him, His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire. The Lord thundered from heaven, And the Most High uttered His voice, Hailstones and coals of fire. He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, The foundations of the world were uncovered At Your rebuke, O Lord, At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils. He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, From those who hated me, For they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.” ..... For You will save the humble people, But will bring down haughty looks. For You will light my lamp; The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.....”

I am reminded of Your creation, Lord. In the very beginning there was darkness without form & void, yet You used it even then...to create. In Your secret place You spread out Your blueprints and crafted great mysteries too marvelous for the thoughts and the words of man, so Your Word speaks. Lord, I will not seek to define the darkness, I will cry out to You! I will rest in the middle of the darkness because You are there. I will wait for Your salvation and Your revelation. I will wait for you to bare the foundations and to set me in a large place. You do delight in me. There was no deceit in the garden; our sweet caress was not a lover’s lie. You have not forgotten nor forsaken me, Your beloved. The Light that I sought in Your presence has not been extinguished, it will grow more brilliant as I emerge. You have enlightened my darkness. I purpose in my heart, Lord, not to be afraid of the darkness again. Lord, remind me that You have made the darkness, that seeks to destroy. You have made it to serve You. I wait for You once more in Your Secret Place... ... ... ... ... ... I will not be disappointed.

Larry Grizzle
05/13/2009


Psalms 18
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David the servant of the Lord, who spoke to the Lord the words of this song on the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. And he said: I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. The pangs of death surrounded me, And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; The snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. Smoke went up from His nostrils, And devouring fire from His mouth; Coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down With darkness under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters And thick clouds of the skies. From the brightness before Him, His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire. The Lord thundered from heaven, And the Most High uttered His voice, Hailstones and coals of fire. He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, The foundations of the world were uncovered At Your rebuke, O Lord, At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils. He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, From those who hated me, For they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me.
The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness; According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord, And have not wickedly departed from my God. For all His judgments were before me, And I did not put away His statutes from me. I was also blameless before Him, And I kept myself from my iniquity. Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness, According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight. With the merciful You will show Yourself merciful; With a blameless man You will show Yourself blameless; With the pure You will show Yourself pure; And with the devious You will show Yourself shrewd. For You will save the humble people, But will bring down haughty looks. For You will light my lamp; The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.
For by You I can run against a troop, By my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, And sets me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip. I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them; Neither did I turn back again till they were destroyed. I have wounded them, So that they could not rise; They have fallen under my feet. For You have armed me with strength for the battle; You have subdued under me those who rose up against me. You have also given me the necks of my enemies, So that I destroyed those who hated me. They cried out, but there was none to save; Even to the Lord, but He did not answer them. Then I beat them as fine as the dust before the wind; I cast them out like dirt in the streets. You have delivered me from the strivings of the people; You have made me the head of the nations; A people I have not known shall serve me. As soon as they hear of me they obey me; The foreigners submit to me. The foreigners fade away, And come frightened from their hideouts. The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted. It is God who avenges me, And subdues the peoples under me; He delivers me from my enemies. You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man. Therefore I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the Gentiles, And sing praises to Your name. Great deliverance He gives to His king, And shows mercy to His anointed, To David and his descendants forevermore.